Becoming a wife has taught me that life isn’t fair. The Bible tells us in Genesis 2:24 that, “…For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
One flesh; what does that even mean? I guess it could mean a lot of things, but what I’ve gained from that verse most recently is that life—in a marital covenant/partnership—is not fair. Becoming one flesh is when one spouse gets a spontaneous invite from a close friend for a quick catchup right before bedtime for the 7, 5, 3, and 1 year-old, and the uninvited spouse says, “Absolutely, you should go. I can definitely figure out how to get them to bed without you.” And you (the uninvited spouse) get those kids to bed. Because life isn’t fair when you become one flesh. Married life is not about what is fair, but rather about what is right.
Right. How do we even begin to know what is right? One of the most impactful lessons my dad drilled into my head as a child is the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
That’s how you know what is right. Simply ask yourself, if it were me who got the spontaneous invite, wouldn’t I want my spouse to encourage me to go without delay?
To clarify, sometimes what is right, specifically in this scenario, is to help put the kids to bed and then to go. More than anything, it’s important to note that life does not have a proper set of blueprints; that one cannot find the steps to a happy marriage in a book. But when we can keep two things on the forefront of our minds—1) we are on the same team and 2) life is not about what is fair, but rather about what is right— we can cultivate a happy, healthy and peaceful marriage.