Our oldest, Kennedy, is four. If you know Kennedy you know her for her bangs, her signature hair bun, her shorts during the winter, her nickname among our friends (“little mama”—for her nurturing behavior), her leadership skills (trading a toy for the toy she wants), her brilliant mind for solving problems and her fierce strength and determination to do things her way (common K-phrase: “That wasn’t my plan”). The latter trait is the one I find myself most proud of AND most often frustrated with day in and day out. Matt and I have tried all the ways of teaching obedience. Through discipline, we found timeouts away from people and her things work the best for her. She hates missing out. During a particular week (while Matt was out of town for 11 days), I found myself exhausted in the follow-through that obedience often requires. “Pick your battles” is a lesson I learned going from one kid to two kids. Was I picking too many battles this week? K needed my follow-through but I was starting to lose strength, and I wasn’t even sure I knew the purpose of teaching her obedience. Personally, I like her obedience because when I ask something of her, it is for her own good (and usually also for someone else’s own good—i.e. “K please get off of your sister”). Let me be clear: her obedience makes my life easier too. And of course the Bible warns parents, “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” But really, what does that even mean?
After a particular timeout I sat down with Kennedy and started talking to her about the importance of obedience. The words that came from my mouth deeply encouraged my heart, strengthened my spirit and restored my mind toward teaching obedience. It went something like this:
Kennedy, God has made you to be so strong and He has such big plans and wild adventures for you to go on. But if you do not learn to listen to mom and dad and therefore are not obedient, you will never learn to hear God and do what He asks of you. I’m telling you honey, life with God is so much more fun and exciting than a life without Him. Mom has to teach you to obey, and you must learn to obey so that God can use you in big ways.
And that was it. I have no clue how much that talk meant to her but I was so encouraged. It was like I was given a second wind—my focus was narrowed, my job was made clear. Her future—not completely—but majorly depended on my follow through.